Tuesday 6 November 2012

chimney...



Even at this night a fair amount of smoke was coming out of that chimney. Once it had dumped a lot of heat and smoke when that tile factory was functional. The factory in which many families relied for a living. But when society lost its appetite to clay tiles, the entrepreneurs stopped wasting their money on a lost cause. Many families lost their living. Some survived and some still endure. And those gates were closed then on.
Now when I saw the smoke at this late hour, I became curios. Who would be using those furnaces? At this time...?
But curiosity didn’t dominate my mind. That smoke gave me some nostalgia. The memories of, once a busy place. The smoke was thicker then. The wide frontage where once the workers placed the moulded tiles to dry before it enters the furnace was now full of shrubs. Before it they would fill the mould with powdered clay and machine press it to make those tiles. Before it, they would dry the clay and fine powder it.
But all of it is now memories. Memories of a lost cause. But still that chimney spanned there omitting smoke to the high skies. A simple logic of mankind, to lessen the suffocation of smoke. I was at lost on deciding whether that chimney is a symbol of logic or of team work...?

Note:
Even though it’s a beautiful picture, am not sure if it depicts all the nostalgia, which the actual chimney gave me. Maybe because when I see it the sky was darker and I like night skies a bit more...

Tuesday 26 June 2012

when...





    I roam around this world with all my decoys. The people i met loved me, for they thought those masks are the real me. Or else that love was their act.
    Then one day I walked under the lushness and shade of the green nature, without any of my second skins. People shied away from me as from a taboo. They saw me for what I actually is. They saw the raw ugliness. My skin blistered under those stares. They once advised me to live in reality. And when I show them the reality, they get scared. Paradox...
    Or, are they scared of themselves? Do they saw themselves in me? Do my ugliness reminds them of what resides in them? Are they running away from their own realities? They ran, so they could check on their masks and be sure that those strings are tight. And to be sure that their acts are not disturbed and no one could see the Caliban in them. So they could live in their utopia with their pretty faces and boast about their fake realities. And when someone actually be real, they could crucifix them and call those martyrs a fraud.
    And after a fall they will make monuments for those martyrs and worship them.Thus they could sabotage those real models by corrupting their ideals and faking them according to their unreal world. Realities will get violated and decoyed as sins, so no one will dare to show what's real anymore.
    When would these warring species could stop fighting among themselves and acquire the courage to fight the falseness in their souls? When would they dare to break the cocoon of those fake moralities and show themselves in the glaring sun? When would they start telling the truth? When would they....

Tuesday 12 June 2012

silent wail...



They say the water of Ganges could cleanse...
A rebirth, attained from a bath with all your sins washed away...
But could it cleanse those memories, regrets...
Oh, how I wish to rejuvenate...

No requiems saved me from this purgatory...
No pleads of remorse heard...
Those sins pull me to irredeemable depths...
My wails unheard, and be amiss...

The pain which I can’t endure is to see what I’ve done...
Carnal pangs hurt me not, but pain in those eyes does...
 Those impeccant souls flown to my fowl...
Oh, their wails; bleed my ears and tear my heart...

This dirt weighing down my course...
My spine bends, and limbs weak...
Oh, how I wish to leave this temple of dirt...
To be nothing, and in peace and to be one with world’s Chi...
At least a crumb of that goodness if any resides in me...

Sunday 3 June 2012

truth....




Flowing through those current...
Rocks of taboos blocked me...
Their sharp edges cut my skin...
Some gave me big blows...

But the flow to the moore, didn't stop...
The water of my temptations made me flow over those rocks...
I broke some, and I bend some...
Crossed those forbidden lines...
And my mind started prying me with regret...

Did I actually break any...?
Or was it all an illusion...
An illusion to elude you from the truth, the moore...
My freedom lies in accepting those truths...
And now am starting to see clearly...
Know that this flow is normal, human...
Let yourself free; don't fight it...
Now am starting to accept those truths....

Sunday 13 May 2012

restrained...



On a bed of roses, I lay...
Their fragrance, burning my nostrils...
Restrained by chains of hearts...
Their beats reverberating in my eardrums, bleeding them...

I am pampered, but my freedom limited...
Have everything in reach, but am chained...
Why, oh why, those chainrings have to be hearts...?
Why, oh why, my heart is not hard enough to break them...?

I sense one of those rings, so soft...
Will bleed itself and break, just to see me glee...
But I won’t let it to be so masochistic, nor am I a sadist...
So I lay there for those hearts....
But, how long can I endure....?

Sunday 6 May 2012

a fallen angel...



A mother, a fallen angel...
Left in the woods, with her spawns...
Her right wing cut off, and none to lend a hand...
What of unholy treacheries thrown her to this Moore...?
Which of the deities got jealous of her little heaven...?
Or was it fate’s way to make her strong...?

Strong she became, for her tiddlers...
They were her, bow of a fiddler...
She made them her aim of life...
And thoughts of them were her knife...
With it, she made a shelter in those litter...
And came out of woods with such a glitter...

Now she has an aim in life and now she knows how to attain that...
Working her way against those odds, with the strength of her petite hands...
Stern in mind as not to cry, when she heard any filthy pry...
Her will made those kids be safe and no sadness engulfs their eyes...

Her skin may be the tint of coal, but her heart is of diamond gleam...
She can’t beat any nymphs in looks, but none could beat her beauty of mind...
With all that love and with all that will,
One day she’ll reclaim those glory hills...


PS: the picture is done by one of my best friends... Hazel Fernandez... Thanks to u hazel for such a wonderful art...

Sunday 29 April 2012

the actual me...



I was returning to my home after some shopping. At a three way junction, two roads lead to my place. Hmmm... Which one should I take? The one to my right is in a better condition. The one to my left is a shortcut, but it’s in a really bad state. So I decided to ride through the better one, and I was not in a hurry too. That’s when I first noticed it. I thought my eye was tricking me. But I was sure that I actually saw it.
There was another me taking the left road. How’s that possible? Maybe I just saw someone wearing same type of my dress, and riding the same model of my bike, and have a similar body language of mine. Well it could be possible. After all they say that there are 7 people like you in the world. Hmmm... or is it 9? Whatever...
I continued my riding, and after some time I forget about the other me. When I reached in front of a mobile recharging shop, I recalled that my prepaid balance is getting low. Hmmm... Should I recharge it now? I will have to make some calls when I reach home. There were 2 missed call alert in my mobile. So I stopped there to topup my prepaid balance. Then again it happened.
Another version of me continued his riding without stopping there. Aaarrrggghhh.... What the hell is this? Am I going delusional? There is no way that 2 of 7 (or is it 2 of 9...? whatever) in the like list went past me in an interval of 10 minutes. There is something freaky going on here.
Thinking of this I continued my ride. There is a national highway before my place, and I’ve cross it. When I get there, a car was coming from a right, through the highway. Should I cross the NH before the car? Well there were no other vehicles coming and the car was in a slow pace. I crossed the NH before the car. After I crossed, curiosity got the better of me. I checked the rear view mirror only to see another version of me waiting the car to pass, to cross the NH.
Holy crap... Then a whim passed to through me. Whenever I’m taking a decision am creating a new universe, in which a different version of me taking the other choice of the decision. I’m seeing those universes. Parallel universes. And I’m creating them. Or the other version of me is creating this universe in which I exist.  Wow... well in that perspective could I be god? After all I’m creating universes here, aren’t I? Is it about this, which they say like “god resides in your inside”? Hmmm... How many universes have I created this day? How many decisions did I make? And how many universes did the other versions of me would have created parallel to their universes? Wow... it’s going exponential.
To where, are my thoughts taking me? And at last when I reached my home, one question remained. Who’s the actual me?

Wednesday 25 April 2012

rotten...



The wooden bridge spanned there...
Connecting that old road across the banks...
Young but obsolete in design, faded to memories, forgotten...
Watching its contemporary kins fulfilling their calling...
Evaluating the purpose of its own existence...

It’s too late to revive those wooden boards and stands...
Attempts to give it more support went vein...
Those aiding bases gave the inner termites more to feed upon...
Gave them more reason to get obese and weaken its strength...
Adding dead weight to what it remains of once a glorious span...

Praying even for a nomad or a loner to cross over it...
Just to remember its role in the world...
To go back to those old days, at least in its memoirs...
But none came... none heard its weak creaks...
Can’t even collapse on its own without a big blow...
It spanned there... weakened... rotting away of termites...
Dreaming of redemption....

Sunday 22 April 2012

at peace...



Those sharp lines, the alluring pull of power...
Elegant, with the gleaming of any metal...
My hand caressed over its cold body...
The toy of death, heavy in my palm...
Fits like parts of a jigsaw...
Felt like it’s made for this moment...

An epiphany... an urging clout to do something insane...
To pull that trigger... to do something heretic...
The futility of the life pushed me more...
And in a capricious, inebriated moment...
My mind bowed to that whim...

The toy vomited a metal bead, a bead detached from its cocoon...
Propelled with the force of fire, swirling through that barrel...
It seared through my temple...
Making a tunnel through my memories and drilling my skull...

Numbness... no images flashed through my eyes...
No noise heard and no throbbing pain...
Only the wetness of dripping blood through the vacuum of my temple...
And my torso collapsed to the ground...
Floor becomes crimson and wetness was the last thing I sensed...
And finally I was at peace....

Monday 2 April 2012

a satire...



They call me the captain of ship, who lost his compass...
Satire maybe, but alone true...
The ocean, vast and deep...
Sails roped high...
Wind guiding my route to unchartered waters...

Wheel of my vessel unmanned...
Tides rocking the ship like a pendulum...
As I know not my directions and destinations...
Bloodstream filled with booze...
Intoxicated with its languidness...
Elusive, the sail I feel...

Isn’t there a mermaid to make my senses keen...?
Make me concentrate...
Blind my eyes and sanity with her eldritch voice...
To sink in the deepest moore, before the ultimate reincarnation...

So that, when the titanic tides take her away, ...
My eyes would water up so high and could clear any vestige of daze...
The veil of obscurity will make way to crisp vision...
Then the constellations would guide my path...
And I could sail over those satires....

Friday 30 March 2012

elope...



A journey...
To the lands, which was not accustomed...
He started, but without any goodbyes...
Sitting in the belly of that speeding metal bird, alone...
He smiled about the inevitability of that elope...

Away from the ones who hates him...
Whom he loved the most...
Away from the soils he loves...
Where his roots were...

“I should have done this before...” he thought...
Then there would have been a few, to wave him farewell...
To fight for what he believes and the enlightened decoys don’t...
Is a crime; now he knows...
At least now, it’s sure that no one will wait for him...
And he don’t have to return to this asylum for anyone...

Tuesday 20 March 2012

my bicycle...



Some things in our life seem to become important when we lose it. Now don’t start to think of any relations or any emo things, for that matter. I’m talking about my cycle. These days, my memories are flooding with the pictures of my bicycle.
The story goes like this. For my first holy communion, it’s evident that I’ll get presents. So grandpa got me a bicycle the day before the ceremony. I won’t forget that day. Not because I got the gifts, but that day I had the worst tooth ache of my life. When he came to my home with the cycle I was bathing. My brother shouted to me from outside the bathroom about the cycle. I don’t even wait to dry my hair. My tooth ache vanished. Just like that. I put on some clothes and rushed to my brand new cycle.
Wow... she was a beauty. With some curvy design, which I haven’t seen on any of my friends’ cycle. The paint job was striking too. A mixture of black and dark green. Just like some vinyl. Hahahahaaaa.... finally I got an awesome bike with a unique design and style. All other guys are gonna envy me. Am gonna do some show offs. My mind started to make dreams. But only one problem. I haven’t seen this brand name in any one’s other too. Hmmm.... what’s in a brand name if the cycle is awesome? I forgive that glitch of my cycle. After all nobody’s perfect, right?
So I started my show offs and as expected everybody liked the cycle. I was happy. And one day, it happened. Some crap dude stole my cycle. Damn..... I woke up that day and went to the place where I parked it last night (well, in my home’s backyard), and it was gone. Just like that.
I cursed that guy with all my known vocabulary. Oh... he stole my unique bike.... L
My heart was in pain. I lost my appetite. Oh... why did he steal my cycle... why can’t he go for any one’s other... oh... my pain was my own...
After some day I started to recover. Then comes another blow. Crap... I hated the TV for that reason. In it I saw the ad of the 50th anniversary of my cycle’s brand. “Avon”.... it’s only then I realised that my lost cycle’s brand was a prestigious one and the best brand in India....
Crap... oh... that stupid stole my unique, prestigious branded cycle... LL
Again I started to recover. Then comes the final blow... That day I hated films... You know what, I was seeing “Koi Mil Gaya” and in it Preety Zinta was gifting Hrithik Roshan, an Avon cycle, and he was exclaiming about the brand...
Crap... oh... that stupid idiotic fool stole my unique, prestigiously branded cycle which was even used by Hrithik Roshan.... LLL....

Saturday 10 March 2012

a wedding....



Her smile was exquisite...
But, is she hiding something...
Under that happy decoy, did I saw a pang of pain...?
Or is it just my imagination...

Sure she did miss her family...
In the happiest day of a women’s life...
The day which she will be the centre of all attraction and praise...
She would sure wish her mother to see her like that...

The absurd ego of an orthodox mind...
Why doesn’t her father let her have him without that pain...
Why everyone is making such fuss about self find soul mate...
Is it about cast...? no...
Is it about religion...? no...
It’s just about a filthy mindset, which makes everything so complex...

They say, the time heels...
The heat will cool off...
Then why the theatrics.... why all this noise...
But in her eyes I saw the determination to be his left hand forever...
And in his eyes I saw the strength to hold her safe until his last breath...

Tuesday 28 February 2012

a proposal...




The evening sun was giving her skin a divine hallow...
The breeze taunting her hair...
Felt like the whole hillock was filled with her fragrance...
And it was toxicating my whole senses...

My mind started playing cougar...
I walked up to her back, as she watches the sunset...
My hand found her shoulder...
She didn’t flinch; as if she was expecting my move...

She rested her head to me, her whole torso to mine...
As if she needs my support her whole life...
I hold her to mine, so dearly as clutching to my own life...
And at that moment my atheist mind prayed; just to die like that...
To persist that moment forever and not to fade...

My lips uttered those 3 words to her ear...
She seemed surprised, and turned to me...
Her eyes deep; which I can’t comprehend...
Then she hugged me most dearly and returned those words to me...
Felt exhilarant: and our holds get stronger...

Her eyes went wet; her tears drenched my shirt...
I felt a pang of pain; and decided not to make her eyes wet ever again...
Felt mixed emotions; to be everything to her...
To be a protecting brother, a concerned father, a playful child, a loving soul mate...
Want to be with her forever and ever...

Saturday 25 February 2012

real gifts...




Every seat around me was full...
Everyone have the common expression: fatigue...
Everybody returning after the treacherous day’s labour...
Every mind dreaming of a better tomorrow...

The public transport carried a bunch of people with dreams....
Hopes... optimism for a future of fortune...
All were eager to be in the tube which starts first...
For they love to see the happiness in their loved one’s faces...
Even for one minute longer...

Those sweet moments of laughter with their family...
Glitter in their children’s eyes, when they get their fancy toys...
A sweet hug from their second half, after the day’s tiring toils...
The real gifts in the life....

Thursday 16 February 2012

a smiley stare...





I waited there for a stare...
For a smile...
But she went past eyes looking down...
The lost moment...

The grace in her walks...
Those impeccant and deep eyes....
That round angel like face...
I was a moth drawn to the flame...

The Caliban I am...
Masochistic....
Let the angel fly away....
For she has all the high heavens to roam...
Let she be in the upper echelons and stare at me with a smile....

Wednesday 8 February 2012

sky's laugh...





The night was chilling...
Eye in the sky, bloodshot...
Its hallow giving it an eerie feel...
The dark cloud over the eye revealed, sky’s insomnia...

Sky saw the owl’s silent flight...
And its ignorant prey...
A meander zigzagged down the earth...
Its water destined to the great pool...

Sky saw the night life of erect beings...
The self claimed rulers of the muddy ball...
And their shallow dreams and evil plays...
They can’t see the big frame of life...

The nocturnal rulers busy in their twisted plans...
Feeling as if no one sees their frauds...
Sky laughed at them...
And the nocturnal beings heard a thunder...

Thursday 2 February 2012

give me the strength...





In this lonely road...
Am without a resolute...
My beliefs strangled...
And am without a walking stick...

Expectations crushing me...
Their weight wearing me...
My shoulders weakening...
My smiling facade withering...

I wish to throw them away...
But then I hurt the ones who love me the most...
I’ve justifications; But meaningless...
I can’t do it; neither can I walk anymore...

Give me an ambition...
So I can tear the veil of predictions upon me...
Give me the vision...
So I can find my calling...
Give me the strength...
So I can rise above everything....

Saturday 28 January 2012

repetitions....





Distant crackling of fireworks.
Neighbour’s voices of laughter..
The cool thickness of air...
Me sitting amid them....

Some are celebrating a festival.
He is emigrating for a job..
The night is dark and cold...
I am alone and my mind filled with mixed emotions....

Tomorrow there won’t be a festival.
Tomorrow he won’t be in his home..
But tomorrow the night would be dark and cold as ever...
And I’ll be sitting alone, along with my crazy mind as usual....

Thursday 19 January 2012

alley...






She started to get scared. It was half an hour ago when Ben told her to stay here in this dark alley. He went to pick up something. She knows it would be some lovely birthday gift. But there was no sign of him.

“Did something happen to him…” she got anxious.

Then she started to hear voices. Scary ones, behind her. But there was no one. She started walking. The alley seemed too long for her. Her steps picked up speed. As she reaches the end of that wretched alley, from nowhere there was a door there. Confused and anxious she opened it.
There again she was, at the very spot from where she started to walk. The voices become scarier this time and the alley become darker. She ran towards the door. She could feel someone behind her trying to catch her. Her slender legs get tired. She can feel the numbness starting from their end.

“I won’t give up” she decided…

With all her strength she ran. Again there was the door. She swing it open and closed it, shouting

“go away…. Goooo awaaay from me….”

Still there she was at that wretched scary dark alley…..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Go away…. Go away….”

“Why is she saying that dad…?”

Claire chimed to her dad. She was visiting the asylum where her dad worked.

“Oh, nothing dear. She is not talking to you. She is just delusional. Come, your mom is waiting for you.”

Warren answered to his curious daughter and picked her up and closed the door to the ward.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Go away…. Go away….”

But still the voices continued to reach for her…..

Friday 6 January 2012

death....





Death always interests me…
Not the after affects, but its aspect…
One second you are alive and the next second you are dead…
Two completely different biological phases separated by a second…
So one fine evening I am thinking about death…
So what’s the difference of lively time and dead time….?
In lively seconds, I will have memories…
When am dead only others will have memories about me…
As I thought about the feeling of being dead, a chill crawl upon me…
The numbness, vacuum, scary darkness of death engulfs my head…
I felt detached from all noises….
My mind starts mimicking my death…
Is this what they call redemption…?
The sense of calm and peace….
So, why everybody is afraid of death…?
Maybe the pain before it, or the thoughts of its after affects…
If there’s nothing like them, maybe there will be more dead than alive…

Monday 2 January 2012

lost in her voice...





She sang to me…
After a lot of pleas, she sang in my ear…
My favourite song, in her voice…
I always loved its sensual lyrics…
But today, it’s her voice that dominates…
Or is it the emotions behind that voice …
Passion from the depths of her heart came out, tearing those lines….
It was so sharp, intended to my heart and it made that poor thing to bleed…
The longing I felt to her, took to me to trance…
It was so strong and I lost myself in her voice…
I hold her tight, very tight as much as to suffocate….
And we became one….